Ready to Play

I am ready to debut my Christmas toys, but I'm struggling to find time to play with them. I've spent every day and night since Christmas trying to clean our way out of this wrapping paper engulfed house. The other fun filled chore of a parent at Christmas is the never ending battery changing, plastic snapping, screwdriver using construction of every toy the kids received. I have spent so much time building and playing with the kids' toys that my own toys haven't gotten the attention they deserve. Oh the sacrifice. I'm hoping tonight is my big night. Matt will be at work and maybe I'll push bedtime a half hour early. My highly intelligent offspring are still uneducated enough to not be able to tell time, I'm sure I can fool them. I hope to play tonight.

Noah's Ark Lesson Needed

We went to a neighborhood Christmas light display tonight. While we were driving around we went past a home that had an inflatable Noah's Ark in the front yard. Tucker says, "Mommy! Look! It's the God ship!!" That let's me know which story we need to read in his toddler Bible.

Preschool Christmas Party!

Tucker made this Santa hat and he was very proud of himself! Daddy made it in time from work to be able to do all the crafts during the party. My Mom, Matt's Mom, Addie and I came after the party and participated in the sing-a-long and visited St. Nicholas. I wanted Matt to get some special time with Tucker at school because he won't be able to participate as often because of his work schedule.

We are all waiting for our turn to meet St. Nicholas.

Oh, this picture got out of order... This is my Mom (Tucker's Nana) singing Christmas songs!

Tucker and St. Nicholas. Tucker wasn't sure he wanted to talk to this guy, but he did have chocolate coins...so he decided to give it a go. When we walked in to the sanctuary where St. Nicholas was sitting, I looked down the aisle and said, "Oh, it's the Pope" and Tucker yelled out, "IT'S A WEDDING!"

St. Nicholas with Tucker and his teacher Mrs. Scott.

Tucker and his teacher Mrs. Broome. Both of these women are INCREDIBLE. I try to treat them with Starbucks a few mornings a month.

We are quickly gearing up for a big FOURTH birthday on Christmas Eve....how did that happen. I always recall how choked up I get at Tucker's birthday and I don't this year will be any exception. I see him growing up so fast, looking like such a big boy and leaving the baby days behind. I do NOT feel sad that he is not a baby, because frankly, he was a very difficult baby. But I know I will miss these days. It will all fly by and this picture will be replaced by a high school graduation picture, which will hopefully be replaced with a college graduation picture, only to be replaced with a wedding photo...and I can only imagine how it will feel like I only blinked twice.

Blog-a-rific Life, Yet No Blogs?

Let me start this by saying, my lack of blogging is not due to a lack of material. It is more due to the fact that it takes time to download, edit, then upload photos. Then, I refuse to post my thoughts, feelings and insights into life without some clever, witty and moderately entertaining fashion, which also takes time. And now that I'm writing it all down, maybe it's not even a lack of time. Well then, you might be asking yourself, what the hell is the problem? My only response can be, especially after reading what I just wrote is, I have no clue. What is my problem?

In the last week, Tucker has had a Christmas program at school, he also got his finger stuck in the hole on the side of a Kitchen Aide bowl (don't worry, I got pictures before rescuing his finger), and Addie ate a piece of chocolate and kept saying "ann-eee" for candy and I took a video of her chocolate smeared face. So listen, it's no lack of material. It's just a lack. So look for my attempt at slapping the "lack" right out of myself and getting some great posts up and going.

By the way, I've been told by an anonymous source that I'm a decent writer. ...and anonymous doesn't mean I'm trying to talk about myself being awesome, this is a real, living, breathing separate human being than myself. Anyway, my "source" said I'm a decent writer. Does anyone have a clue how one would go about making some money by writing? My degree isn't journalism or even communication, although I'm not so bad at communicating even without the Edward R. Murrow seal of approval. Anyway, any ideas? I'm kinda looking for a way to make some greenbacks fall my direction and maybe this would be something I could do without ditching my kids in a daycare 5 days a week. Thanks for any ideas or leads.

Happy 5th Birthday, BO!

This is the dog I was never supposed to love. When we moved to Georgia in 2005, we had a small, fenced yard and were surrounded by neighbors and friends with dogs. I had never had a dog growing up and didn't really think I wanted one either. I grew up with cats. I don't think I really love cats now either. I'd rather go on a poo-poo scavenger hunt in the back yard than dig through dusty, smelly, nasty cat litter. Which reminds me of my friend Gene who says things like "That's about as good as being face-down in kitty litter". I love Gene and his funny sayings!

Anyway, in Georgia, Matt started doing research into breeders in the area looking for a lab puppy. I was about 4 months pregnant with Tucker and I told Matt that if he wanted to get a dog, he better do it before we had the baby. I knew I'd be too overwhelmed to commit to a dog after the birth.

Matt came to me one day and said, "Let's just go 'look' at the humane society and see what kind of dogs they have there."

Now, if you've ever been to the humane society, you know how hard it is to just "look". I'm not sure how you go there and not come home with 5 dogs, 3 cats, a bird and really feeling guilty about all the other animals you left behind. It's a sad place, really.

So we go "look" at the Muscogee County Humane Society just outside Columbus, GA. We saw several dogs, but there was only one dog that we really wanted. There was also a mom and her son looking at our dog at the same time. We decided to move fast, get a helper and get him out of the cage and with us before they could. The thing that we loved about our dog from the beginning was that he was the ONLY dog that wasn't barking at us.

We decided to take him home on the "foster program" where you can take the dog for 3 days, no charge, to see if the animal fits into your family. We took him home and introduced him to all the kids we knew and pulled his tail while he ate to see what kind of tolerance he had for kids. He was PERFECT. Well, there was one little thing....the humane society had named him Alfalfa. What? What a horrible name. Matt wanted to rename him Bo and I had a small problem with that. My dear friend Angela had a yellow lab named Bo and he was a total disaster. Once he cornered me and well, "touched me inappropriately"...is that how you say it nicely? So I was hesitant to name him after knowing what kind of consequences that might carry. But...we did it anyway. We named him Bo Muscogee, named after the county we adopted him from.

Our next duty station was Fort Polk, Louisiana where we conveniently moved to Beauregard Parish. I immediately thought Bo needed a legal name change. After moving to LA he became formally known as Beauregard Muscogee. At that point, we were hoping to move to Fort Lewis, Washington and I joked that the more duty stations we did, the more names our dog would accumulate. Thankfully, we have made our final destination Portland, however Bo has not adopted any further names based on our physical location...although Beauregard Muscogee Washington Glem sounds pretty regal! (We live in Washington County)

Like I said before, I was never supposed to love this dog. But I knew I'd fallen for the mutt when he ran away in Louisiana (one of many times) and I was standing out in the middle of our street around midnight, in my pajamas, crying because I couldn't find our dog. Who's the sucker now? Me.

I was never sure I'd love that dog. We did the "foster" program for a weekend and when we had spent a few days with him, had decided that this was the dog for our family. I went to the humane society and paid our adoption fees and he was all ours. Later that night, we went to an Army function that lasted less than two hours. When we got back, Bo had chewed up about $600.00 dollars worth of electronics and my sunglasses. We lost my cell phone, which I used for a few weeks while I tried to get a new one...dog bite imprints and all. The cords to our portable DVD player were shredded. The DVD player itself didn't survive. I literally had to sweep up my sunglasses and phone off the floor. It was NOT a good day for Bo. Had we made the wrong decision?

After taking him to the vet for a routine check and vaccines, they asked me how old our dog was. I told the vet what the humane society had told us, one and a half years old. The vet looked at me, smiled and said, "I don't think he's quite that old." She said his teeth indicated that he was approximately NINE MONTHS old! No wonder he's chewing stuff up, he's a 70 pound PUPPY!! The only thing I could do was smile and hope he wasn't going to get significantly bigger. The vet said he was probably born sometime in December or early January and that we could just pick a day to be his birthday. So we decided to go straight down the middle and call it December 15th. Little did we know that Bo's little brother, Tucker, would be born so soon after that!

Beauregard Muscogee has been an awesome addition to our family for the last 4 years. I have learned to love dogs, well at least ours, much more than I ever thought possible. Happy Birthday Bo! We love you BoBoLicious!

Double Duty Kitchen

I found out this week that our play kitchen doubles as a jungle gym! Both Tucker and Addie have learned out to climb inside the "refrigerator". Oddly enough, Addie climbs into the top shelf, while Tucker prefers the bottom shelf.

I'm not being a very good Mommy because I always tell them to get out of the kitchen, but I also snap a picture before they get out. It's called "mixed messages" Tami, what do you want them to do? Be cute or get the hell out of the kitchen? In a perfect world, both!

Wii Character

The other day Tucker was playing Wii and when I walked in to the living room and he is playing a Mii that I've never seen before. He told me, "Mommy, I made this character. It's called Tucker." I'm not sure how he figured out how to create a character, but it made me laugh. My favorite part is his name.

Diaper Disco

Three Year Anniversary...UGGHH

It's December 7th. Pearl Harbor Day. My THIRD anniversary in braces. UGGH. Will the torture ever end? The Doc is saying something about spring time. I am SO over believing I will ever lose the brace-face look. Maybe it's just a good look for me and I'm meant to look this way? No, I have to keep the faith. One day, I won't be making ortho appointments anymore. I won't be wearing holes in my mouth for the sake of straight teeth. It's hard to be optimistic when I've been wearing braces for 3 years, I've had 3 oral surgeries, and I still have one more surgery to go! BLAH! That's how I really feel.

Christmas Preparations

I am just going to give myself a Good Mommy Award, because I'VE decided I deserve it! This is nothing like the Mommy Of The Year Award that I often nominate myself for, where I do something so awful, mean or stupid that I deserve some recognition for being a jerk. This is honest-to-goodness good Mommy crap. Now, I might be insane, stupid or naive for thinking these things are good ideas, but hey that's what vacuums and lots of Sham-Wows are for!! I'm going to omit the part where I was covered from fingertip to elbow in white frosting and how I had to vacuum the tiny ball candy when Tucker dumped a large bowl off the counter. And I won't mention about how the tiny ball candies were spread from the kitchen to under the couches in the family room. Remember, I already said this wasn't a smart idea...it was just a good memory making event with Tucker! I must be letting him out in public too much because somehow he found out about making ginger bread houses! I was really trying to hold him off on this kind of knowledge until he was capable of making these things without my assistance! Well, unlike my efforts to keep him in the dark about Chuck E. Cheese (which he still hasn't been to) my evil plans to keep him from making a ginger bread house came to a screeching halt this last week. We made a trip to Costco where they had the easiest and most complete ginger bread house. If you are feeling brave (aka STUPID) like me, then get your ginger bread house at Costco. It comes with more candy than you can even put on the house, which by the way is hard as a rock and probably older than Tucker. It also comes with this tray that has grooves in it so that the sides of the house stay together better. Anyway, I'm not getting paid by Costco to say any of this, so I'm going to stop acting like a promotions coordinator for Costco's ginger bread houses. So this is me...Good Mommy Award.

The first picture is the ginger bread girl "Addie" as decorated by Tucker. Notice the mouth that is really big, he said she was sad and crying. Which is pretty accurate with her cutting her 1 year molars right now.
This is the front of the house and the ginger bread boy that is "Tucker". I decorated this one with Tucker's help. The little ball candies lining the roof are the ones I will be finding in the kitchen and family room for many months to come.
Tucker was VERY proud of his work!
This is me, after vacuuming and mopping up the house! See my smile! Do you think he bought the idea that I was having a blast?? ha ha ha!

I have been earning my GMAs for the last few weeks as we prepare for Christmas. I let my kids bake! We made a recipe that calls for a dry yellow cake mix as a topping for a pumpkin pie dessert...I should really post the recipe for this! I will, at the end of the post. YUMMY and EASY. Honestly, my kids made it. Other than cracking the eggs, they did it all.
This is Addie's small cake mix spill that turned into a great opportunity to see what dry cake mix tastes like! She LOVED it...if you can't tell by the smile on her face!
We decorated our tree...well Tucker and Addie decorated first then I "helped" after they went to bed that night.
Addie rode the wrapping paper. I have GOT to remember this year to not buy my kids ANY actual Christmas presents because all they really want is a few, large boxes.
Well, not exactly the final product...but close enough. I will of course have to post again about our tree because I'm actually really happy with it! It was just supposed to be thrown together with cheap bows so I didn't stress myself out with trying to keep the kids off of it, but I think I might really like it! Since this picture we got a gold star for the top and I have plans to wrap those pictures on the wall like presents so we can be more festive! I need to get on that! More pictures of my Walmart Bow Christmas Tree to come!

Until then, I challenge you with two things....

1. I know finances suck. Matt and I had 10 months of unemployment this year and we live with his Mom...I know CRAPPY finances. But remember the things you do have. Be blessed in giving, even if it's small. Try this week to bless someone less fortunate. You know that guy on the street that is asking for help? You don't have to give him money. Pack an extra sandwich in the morning when you make your lunch for work. If the man is TRULY needy, he will need that sandwich as much as he needs a few bucks. Give, be as generous as you can, be blessed with the gratitude that is given in return. Your generosity will make you richer in your heart than that dollar makes you in your wallet.

2. I challenge you to make this dessert and share it with someone special. Remember...MY KIDS MADE THIS...you can do it too!!!

Pumpkin Pie Crunch

1- 15 oz can of pure pumpkin

1- 12 oz can evaporated milk

3 eggs

1-1/2 C sugar

4 tsp pumpkin pie spice

1/2 tsp salt

1 box yellow cake mix

1 C chopped pecans

1 C melted butter

Serve with cool whip

Preheat oven to 350

grease 9 x 13 pan

Combine pumpkin, milk, eggs sugar, spice and salt in large bowl. Pour mixture into 9 x 13 pan. Sprinkle dry cake mix over mixture. Top with pecans. Drizzle with melted butter. Bake at 350 for 50-55 minutes or until golden brown. Serve with cool whip.

Then, let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Let The Christmas Season Begin!

I am starting a new tradition this year that my friends introduced me to last year. The Elf on the Shelf is being delivered tomorrow morning! I've decided that on December 1st Santa will be delivering an elf to look after Tucker and Addie for the month. He will report back to Santa every night and then be located in a different place in the house in the morning. Santa wrote them a letter and gave them Christmas pajamas.

This is a copy/paste of the letter. It's actually really cute with a picture of Santa and all the rest, but I can't figure out how to get it in my blog. If anyone has a tip, let me know.

"Dear Tucker and Adeline Glem,

I am sending you a very special Elf of mine from the North Pole. His name is Alabaster Snowball. Alabaster is my Elf who is in charge of the naughty and nice list.

If you are naughty, you will be getting coal for Christmas instead of presents. However, if you are nice, my Elves and I will make sure to put some toys in my sleigh for you both on Christmas Eve.

When Alabaster arrives at your house, I would like you to find a place in your house where he can watch after you. He will be watching to see if you are naughty or nice, and then he will report back to me every night. When you wake up in the morning Alabaster will be back, but in a different place in your house. When you wake up each morning, see if you can find where he is hiding!

I hope you have fun with Alabaster Snowball. He is a very special Elf! I hope to hear good reports on your behavior, Tucker and Addie.

MERRY CHRISTMAS,

Santa Claus

I think this will be a fun and memorable tradition to start. I had to take pictures of it, not only to show you what I've done, but also so I remember what Santa did, so Santa can recreate it next year. Santa doesn't remember ANYTHING unless it's well documented. I don't think Santa is ALL that old, but Santa still needs some gentle reminders already. Damn Santa, get it together! The good news is, Santa has already started putting some thought into stocking stuffers instead of freaking out on Christmas Eve, while staring at flat, empty stockings. I don't feel as creative as my Santa used to be, but I guess it will come with time. This Santa is still working out the kinks.

Our tree is up and decorated. Tucker and Addie had a blast decorating it. We have decided to go with ribbon and bows this year because I don't have the time, energy or patients to keep up with Addie tearing the ornaments off and chewing, breaking or losing them. I have just decided to decorate with bows I don't care about so I don't have to guard the tree night and day. This picture is of their decorating job. Notice the bows are laying on the branches of the tree by the handfuls and that there isn't one bow higher than 3 feet off the ground. I "helped" that night after the kids went to bed and it's much more "balanced". Is that PC enough? My kids don't have to feel like tree decorating failures. They didn't even notice that it was different when they woke up in the morning. In fact, Tucker was taking full credit for how great it looks! I have to admit, I actually like my $20 dollars worth of ribbon and bows that are compliments of the east Vancouver Walmart. I'll post an "updated" tree photo soon. I love Christmas. I love the fact that Matt hasn't given me any hassles about putting up a tree when it's still November! I think his lack of sleep and crazy schedule might actually give me some sort of advantage...now I just need to get my timing right and give him my letter to Santa! Momma wants a new pair of shoes...and maybe some other stuff too!!

Crash and Burn

Tucker took a header the other day on the street. Matt and I think it's hysterical because his hands didn't have one scrape on them which tells us he went straight to the pavement on his nose!! OUCH! What kid doesn't put his hands down? Oh well. When Matt and Tucker got home, Matt cleaned him up and gave him a few band-aids. We joked that he looked like a pirate! Just in time for Christmas pictures!

Wii Driving

Tucker loves to play Wii Mario Kart and he calls it "Wii Driving". Recently, Addie has noticed Tucker playing and kept trying to steal his steering wheel. Instead of having them fight over the wheel, I decided to give Addie her own! It doesn't have a wii-mote in it, but she thinks she is playing! HILARIOUS!

The Poo Poo Miracle

You can just thank me now because I did NOT take a picture, but I do have some good news. Last night Addie was sitting in a booster chair and she started to lift herself off the chair and I asked her if she was OK. She replied, "poo poo". So I took her out of the seat and as we were walking to her room to change her, I didn't smell anything. I checked her diaper, nothing. So I decided to do a little experiment. I put her on the toilet, just to see if anything would happen. She went potty right away, which is something that she does every night before bath. Then I read her a few books and before you know it, she is doing poo poo in the toilet! YEAHHOOOOO!! I'm getting way ahead of myself thinking about how nice it will be to be diaper free but it's hard not to be excited after last night. I had always heard that girls were easier to train than boys, but this is crazy. Addie isn't even 17 months yet. Hurray Addie!

Does This Happen To Anyone Else?

This is the inside of my purse. Really? Cheesy bunnies spilled out of their bag, while receipts, pens, three things of chapstick, a few hand sanitizers and hopefully somewhere my keys, take up the rest of the mess. What a disaster.

Preschool Update

Tuesday, of last week, was Tucker's first day of preschool. It was just as traumatic for me and I thought it would be. Tucker, on the other hand, jumped right in and had a blast. My friend Paige commented on the last post that it took her 5 minutes to quit crying in her car...I was right there with you, Friend! I really didn't expect it to be so emotional for me. Tucker is definitely his father's son because he was laughing at my for crying. Maybe I'll have better luck with Addie. I'm at least hoping she doesn't laugh when I cry. I don't necessarily want her to cry, because then I think I'd be a permanent fixture in the class, which defeats the whole purpose. So, the bottom line is this...Tucker is doing a great job in school. The teachers say he fits in wonderfully and that they could never tell that he hadn't attended preschool before. He brought home his first piece of preschool art on Thursday and I think I'm going to have it framed! I have a bad feeling I'm going to say that about EVERYTHING he brings home...at least for the first couple weeks anyway.

The Preschool Gods Have Spoken

I am starting my first day of preschool tomorrow! Wish me luck!!!

You Want My Penny, But You Won't TAKE It!

Dearest Sallie,

I am writing to you to let you know that I am frustrated and angry with you. If we are ever going to work this kink out in our relationship, I think we really need to sit down and have a serious talk.

I'm ready to leave you, but I can't. I am, for better or worse, stuck with you. You have been a constant companion for the last 9 years and I would feel like there was something missing if I didn't have you. Who would I give my money to every month? Who else could make me feel guilty like you do, every time I want to buy a new pair of shoes. I know deep down in my heart you desperately need that money more than I do. Who would help me figure out how much money I can deduct on my taxes for student loan interest? I really think I would miss you dearly if you weren't in my life. I want to work this out with you. Help me, help you.

I am going to use several "I" phrases to let you know how I am feeling. I want to share with you my feelings, concerns and frustration that I have experienced in the last month. And please remember, this is my desperate attempt to make this relationship right for both of us.

I am angry. I feel angry when I pay the 10 day pay-off and then there is a dispute over ONE remaining penny. I feel frustrated that I paid the pay-off amount that was posted and then it is incorrect by some mysterious, Bermuda-Triangle-Like-Conspiracy. I feel very, very angry when I try to make things right with you, by coming to you and offering my penny, only to be told that I have to pay in whole dollar amounts. Then, when I do enter in $1.00 (and essentially offer you a NINETY NINE cent tip) you reject my offer again with some statement like "That amount exceeds your 4 day pay-off and can not be accepted". I don't know what I'm supposed to do here to make you happy. How can I make this right? I can't pay you a penny because it's not a whole dollar, but face it bitch, I don't owe you a whole dollar!! What do you want from me? ....I need to take a break. I told myself I wasn't going to yell at you. I want you to know my real feelings, not things I say out of anger...I just need a moment, please.

Ok, I'm back. I took a few deep breaths and I'm ready to finish my letter to you. I would love to make this right and pay that penny you want. I'm at a loss as to how to present that money to you. Do you want a check for a penny that will cost you a few dollars to process? Do you want me to put my penny in an envelope and then send it with a stamp on it, that by the way exceeds the loan amount? Or could you just do what I suggested in an earlier letter about just dropping the whole thing. You have clearly spent more than one penny trying to get my one penny...so why don't you just call it a bust. I'm sure if you just check my other account, you will find that the real treasure is there. You will be collecting pennies from me for many years to come, so let's just call it a truce and we will continue to do business on MY account and just leave Matt alone. Is it a deal?

Sincerely,

Tami

Pottery Barn Kids

Tucker's favorite store in the mall is Pottery Barn Kids...and really, can you blame him? The kids get to run the store and they have everything out for them to play with. It's like a giant playhouse for kids! So I caught Tucker doing a few funny things and I have to post these pictures. One day he will hate me for this.

"Hello, this is Tucker."

I turned around to Tucker calling me, "Mommy! Look at me! I really like this Tucker sized bed! Do you like it too?" Just one more reason you can't turn your back for one second!

Pumpkin Patch Trip #1

On Monday, we went to our first pumpkin patch of the season. Addie just gouged my eye really bad, so I can't type anymore. Enjoy the pictures.

Hemmed Up

This is one of those blogs I should have posted in September, but didn't. Tucker was messing around and got a pool diving ring stuck just above his knees! Yes, that's how skinny this little dude is. The ring was so tight and totally hurting him, but of course I had to get a picture first! I asked him to smile for the picture and he actually did!!! But then I told him to make his face look like he really felt, and this is what we got!

...it's OK to laugh...I did!!!

My "Andy"

A week ago, we went down to visit Daddy for a family dinner date. After our dinner we went to Target to let the kids burn off some energy walking around the store before our hour long drive home. Matt always loves to spoil the kids when he sees them because we don't get to spend as much time with him as we would like. While we were at Target, Tucker picked out this Buzz Lightyear and Addie picked out a stuffed dog. They each carried their new best friends around the store and neither of them wanted to put their toys on the conveyor belt to be scanned! On the way home they both fell asleep holding their new toys. Addie loves to sleep with a doll or animal so I put the dog in bed with her. Tucker asked for Buzz and even arranged the covers on him so that he was warm and comfy. I thought it was so cute that he was so attached to a toy that Matt bought him. It made me wonder if Andy was a real boy, would he have looked like Tucker did sleeping in his car seat?

Tucker, Addie & Assoc... The Next Generation

WHOA...hold up. I realized, now after putting that title in "black and white" that it might seem as though I have a "bun in the oven" or "with child" or "knocked up". None of those rumors are true. The Next Generation is strictly limited to the Tucker, Addie & Associates part of my life, meaning blogging! I'm considering the expansion of my blog life by adding a blog by Tucker. Today he got a gift from his Grandpa Gerry and Grandma June that makes me want to chronicle the days of his life through his eyes. They gave him a cool, kid camera and Tucker loves to take pictures. I think it would be hysterical to see what he sees, look at what he finds interesting and laugh at all the pictures that he takes of his shoes.

I haven't thought of a name for the blog yet, so if anyone has suggestions I would LOVE to hear them. I'm obviously looking for something funny and witty, so give me your best people! I hope to get lift-off on Tucker's blog as soon as I can get him to stop deleting all the pictures he takes!!!

I'm Bringin' Bloggin' Back...

Just to let you in on the secret...you are supposed to sing that title. Think Justin Timberlake...ha ha ha!! Now you get it! ...do a little dance in your seat while you sing...that's it...

I'm going to apologize to all my regular readers...oh, the disappointment of checking this damn blog every freakin' day in September. Only to find that we are still stuck on September 17th. Sorry! Now this lack of blog-a-rific-ness, is not due to a lack of stories or entertaining moments provided by the 3-and-under crowd. It is simply a lack of motivation, time, and discipline. I will not make excuses but will say that we attended 2 funerals, had a mommy/daddy vacation, and I sold $300.00 dollars worth of stuff in a consignment sale in the month of September...did I mention that Matt is gone Monday through Friday? Ok, well enough of the excuses I said I wasn't going to give....

This blog, if it were separate, was to be titled something like "A Penny Saved, Is A Penny Earned" or "Give a Penny, Take a Penny" (like at a mini-mart cash register) or maybe even "ONE PENNY??? WHAT THE F?" Now, I haven't actually decided which one I like the best, but after you hear this story, you might pick option 3.

Two weeks ago I get an email about Matt's student loan. I usually delete them because we do an auto-pay out of our account so Sallie Mae, and her entire greedy, bitchy family, is satisfied for the next 30 days. (Is it necessary to mention at this point in the blog how much I loathe Sallie Mae? Or did you get that memo?) Anyway, for whatever reason, I decided to actually check the email and I discovered that Matt's loan actually had a past due amount because the interest rate went up. Who knows how long ago that interest rate went up, but the bottom line is that the past due amount is something like $15 bucks. So no sweat, we aren't going to suffer a major loss this month to keep our bills in order. So since I have neglected my dear friend Sallie for so many months now, I decide to give her website a little looksie to make sure there isn't anything else that I've missed...like delinquency on her birthday card or something. At first I'm confused, then I'm astonished, them I'm elated. Matt's student loan is down to $85 bucks and some change!!! WHAT?? Could this news BE any better? I'm going to pay the whole damn thing off and never send Sallie another cent...(in Matt's name, anyway...she'll be hearing from me for a few more years still!!) So I get the 10 day pay-off amount and call our bank so that we can change the amount to meet the pay-off amount. The lady is super helpful and very excited with me that we are paying this off. So the big day was September 24th! The big PAY OFF DAY! Yippee!! September 24th, money sent. September 25th, Tami checks Sallie's website.....

Really? Seriously? Is this a joke? Come on, seriously? Ha Ha Ha. You aren't joking? No, no jokes? Okay. So you're sure, Sallie? Alright, well I'll get right on that, then. I'LL SEND YOU YOUR ONE GOD FORSAKEN, MOTHER-LOVIN' PENNY!!!!!!!

The website showed Matt's student loan balance as $00.01. HONESTLY? Isn't there a certain point where one F-ing penny is just a gimme? Couldn't Sallie dig way, deep down in her COUCH and just give us a pass on that one? The STAMP is going to amount to more than the debt we owe! I'm going to put a dime in an envelope and send it to Wilkes-Barr, PA and tell them to keep the change. Share the wealth, give it to some other student who owes ONE damn penny. And if Sallie is really feeling generous, she could pass the change on to my account. But who knows, by the time they charge the interest on that $00.01 balance, Matt just might owe $00.10. OR WORSE YET.....$00.11!!!!! HA!

In Preparation For Halloween...

Today Tucker went on a date with Grandma Michele. One of their stops was Michael's to pick up some craft things for making Halloween decorations. Tucker found some masks that he wanted to paint for our family...these were his picks.

Addie's Mask

Tucker's Mask

Daddy's Mask

Mommy's Mask

WTF? How do you really feel Tucker?

A Dear John Letter, of a different kind.

Dearest Captain John L. Hallett III,

I am writing this to you as a way to deal with what has happened. I can't begin to express how sad I am to know that you are gone. I am sad for your parents and brothers. I am sad for your unit who lost their leader. I am heartbroken for your beautiful, strong, and passionate wife, Lisa. I know, without doubt, you were her first love. You were her priority. You were her rock. You are, and always will be, hers. I nearly fall to pieces every time I think of your three beautiful children. They look like you John. They all do. You will be dearly missed, forever. Your children have really missed out on a opportunity to know a wonderful Daddy who would have led by example about how to love, lead and support a family the way you did.

I have never personally known a soldier to deploy and not come home. I know this happens every day, but never to me. You have changed me John. What has happened to you, has changed me. I am changing the way I look at that soldier's face in the paper. He's not just a face, another soldier. He is a son, husband, father, friend. I used to think that thinking of every soldier like that, so personally, would make you never read the paper or watch the news, too depressing. But John, they are just as real, just as loved and just as gone as you are. Now, I really look into the eyes of those faces in the paper and wish they were here just as much as I wish that for you. I know, now, what a loss that is for the family and friends of that soldier. I'm sorry to all the other brave soldiers who I have passed too quickly over their stories, never really looked at their faces, and never felt that deep sense of thankfulness for their service. But I do now, John. Thank you for that change in me.

I have not been taking deployments seriously. I have taken for granted that every soldier that I know who has deployed, has come home safe to his family and friends. I have not been writing the letters, sending the pictures and mailing snacks the way I should have been. You have taught me that this is not something to put off. I have already written one letter to our friend, who is in Iraq, since your passing. I'm gathering addresses of our other friends who are deployed. I will send letters. I will send the packages. I will, from now on. I will not make the foolish assumption that everyone gets their happily-ever-after redeployment ceremony with flag-waving family, friends, and children. Not all soldiers get to hear the band play while they march their last formation with the brothers they made in that war zone.

I feel tremendously guilty. Guilt beyond measure. This is guilt I've been dealing with since we separated from the Army. In the Army, there is a deep sense of brotherhood...but there is a opposite and equal force behind the Army known as the Army Wife. As an Army Wife, you will do anything for another Army Wife. You know who she is, without knowing a thing about her. The only thing you really need to find out is if any of your friends from previous posts are friends with her...because it's very likely. When you leave the Army, John, there is guilt. There is guilt for leaving the team. There is guilt for leaving your brothers and sisters (soldiers and spouses) of the Army to fight the good fight without you. I feel like we have left you and Lisa to fight the fight. You gave all to the fight. It's like there's a part of me that feels responsible for that. If we had stayed in, maybe Matt would have been on your flank...for better or worse. It's like this, I feel guilty that Lisa has to deal with all this and I don't have to. I know you would never wish us to go through this, John, but I can't help but wonder if this would have been us if the Army had given us Lewis like we so desperately wanted. We would have been right there with you.

You were only deployed a short time and your unit only had command about 2 weeks before you gave all. You must have been so excited and filled with pride to be leading your men as the Company Commander. Matt never got the opportunity to be in command, and I know it's the highlight of a Captain's duties. I'm sure your leadership, paired with compassion, made you a strong commander. It's a shame that the Army has lost a strong and dedicated soldier like you.

However, it's even more tragic that your wife and children have lost the commander of their

family.

You have left a hole in Lisa's heart that will never be filled. Your precious, beautiful, innocent children will not remember what a wonderful Husband and Daddy that you were. They will never get to do all the father/son and father/daughter rights of passage that we all take for granted. You were a great Daddy and your children will know your love through Lisa. I was at your house many times when you would come home from a long day, or even an entire week out in the field. You would come through the door, kiss Lisa, take off those stinky boots and lay on the floor, ACUs, dirt and sweat, and play with Jackson. You would play with him until you literally feel asleep right there on the floor. You gave your family every last bit of energy that the Army let you go home with. At the end of a long, hot, dusty, sweaty day in Louisiana, you still managed to make your family your first priority.

I will never forget the look on your face when you introduced me to your second son, Bryce.

YOU were laying in the hospital bed holding a bundle of blankets while Lisa was making herself beautiful in the bathroom. Jackson was running laps around the hospital room with handfuls of crackers trailing behind. You had a cheesy grin on your face like you had been caught lounging around, but the light in your eyes was unmistakable. You loved being a Daddy. That was something that nobody could deny. You were a great Daddy, John.

You gave your wife beautiful children, a loving home, and memories that she will cherish all the days of her life. You are everything that Lisa ever wanted. You should feel very proud.

Sacrifice, Service, Courage and Love. These are the words that I think of when I remember you. You have sacrificed everything. Your service went beyond all of our expectations and desires, yet we know you gave your life for the love of Army and our great country. Courage to leave your warm, loving home to fight, knowing you may never come home. Love. Your lasting legacy.

Thank you, John. Your life has changed mine, for the better. I appreciate your service, sacrifice, courage and bravery. You will be missed, but never forgotten.

With Gratitude,

Tami

John, Bryce and Jackson Hallett

Bryce, John and Jackson

Jackson, John, Lisa (pregnant with Heidi Vi) and Bryce

John's deployment day

John in Afghanistan

Heidi Vi Hallett. She was born August 2, 2009, just 23 days before John died. He never got to meet her. I think this is the most heartbreaking. John never smelled the sweet scent of his only daughter, never will get to be the first man to give her a bouquet of flowers, or watch her grow to be just like her wonderful Mommy.

Dearest Heidi Vi,

Your Daddy loved you beyond measure. I know this is true because your Mommy and Daddy always talked about how much they wanted a baby girl. I met your parents just after they had your biggest brother, Jackson. Even then, they knew they wanted a baby girl. Just to tell you how much they wanted you, I knew your name long before you ever were. They always wanted their little Heidi Hallett, and here you are beautiful. I know you will make your Daddy very proud and know just how proud he was to be a Daddy to his little girl.

To all of you reading this, take this with you in your heart from now on. Remember these tears. Remember this sadness when you start to fight with your spouse, when your kids are driving you bonkers, and when you see a soldier's face in the paper or on the news.