This little, adorable angel has got me crying and dreading 6 weeks from now. Adeline will be turning 1 on June 26th. I remember with painful clarity how sad I was on Tucker's first birthday, and I have do doubt this will be just as bad...if not worse. I was just online looking at plates, napkins and other party items...I seemed OK for that part. That's just paper plates, no real emotional connection, right? So far, so good. Then I decided that I would look up some party ideas, how to keep kids AND adults entertained. Little did I know, that was a BAD idea. I ran across this idea that I would love to use, but I don't know if I can emotionally handle it. You get (0r make) a beautifully decorated box and provide pieces of paper for people to write Addie messages for her to read when she is older. "That's a nice idea!", I thought to myself. Then they gave some suggestions for prompts for people to use, that's where the waterworks started. Stupid, heart-wrenching suggestions like: I love you because..., You have changed my life..., My hopes and dreams for you are...
Ok, I just can't deal with this. I'm not sure why this is so overwhelming for me. I have several ideas (this is where I wear my heart on my sleeve, ok?). With God's approval, Addie will be our last biological child, which makes her getting older so sad. We will never be teaching another baby to walk or talk. I will not be breastfeeding another baby. It all just gets too sad for me. But the ironic thing is, I don't really like the baby stage! I don't function well with the high demands of young babies. That part I won't miss, but it's exactly the part I will. Makes no sense...I KNOW THAT!
Anyway, to end the babbling (and start babbling in my next post), I just wanted to share this hilarious video and tell you how happy/sad I am to leave this baby stage and how excited I am to learn more about my Adeline Hazel as she grows into becoming a toddler.
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