Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Negotiations...With a Three Year Old.

This story is several weeks old, but one that MUST be documented.  Just so I can recall all the ways her children will repay her when she's a Mommy.  ...because I fully believe in that kind of karma!

I made cupcakes.  Truly beautiful, fluffy, chocolate cupcakes.  They were delightful.  My kids love cupcakes...even crappy cupcakes, they love them...but these cupcakes were about as good as they come.  Tucker and Addie spend a good portion of the afternoon asking about cupcakes, knowing they had to wait until after dinner.

Dinner time.  Tucker eats everything.  EVERYTHING.  (some days I'm pretty sure he'll wake up as tall as Daddy)  Addie...well, she decides to play her cards.  She eats a few, select items off her plate.  Asks for the coveted cupcake.  No dice.  Few more bites.  Cupcake request.  Denied.  Meltdown.  The kind that leaves your kid snotty, screaming, arms swinging violently, certified full fledged meltdown.  I must have saved all the patients I had for that day for this very moment.  God knew it was coming so he helped me with a "patients reserve", and man did I need it.  With all of this unexplained patients, I was able to simply watch her lose her ever lovin' mind for the next 45 minutes.  Screaming "cupcake", crying (most of it fake crying, but still annoying nonetheless) and displaying a general hatred towards me and my cupcake withholding behavior.  Stay strong Momma.

FORTY FIVE MINUTES PASS...

Have I gone deaf?  I look around expecting to never hear the delightful sound of my childrens' screaming again...

I walk into Addie's room to find her exhausted, snotty, nappy haired, and red in the face, laying in her bed.  I sit down.
Mommy: "Are you ready to use words?"  
Addie: "yes."
M: "Do you know why you didn't get a cupcake after dinner?"
A: "No."
COME ON....REALLY???  RIDICULOUS.  ....but remember, I have a patients reserve that will blow your mind...continue with my insane conversation with a gentle loving tone...
M: "You didn't eat all your dinner.  The deal was, eat all your dinner, get a cupcake.  Tucker ate all his dinner and he got a cupcake.  Did you eat all your dinner?"
A: "NO"....crying starts again...
M:  "Settle down.  Listen, I'll save your cupcake for you.  If you can eat all your dinner tomorrow, you can have your cupcake.  Is that a deal?"
A:  "I'll try.  But can you make a better dinner tomorrow?"  ...she was dead serious....
M:  "I'll try."  ...I can't get out of the room fast enough, I start laughing hysterically...and so does she.  So much for stellar parenting.  I just blew my cover, she's hilarious.   

1 comment:

Patti said...

Too bad Art Linkletter is gone, this would be a great story piece! OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES..... But Mommy dearest held her own.