Terrible Twos...Fact or Fiction?

FICTION! Terrible twos don't exist. You might think they do while you are experiencing a "vibrant" two year old, but the depths of terrible don't hit until they are three years old. I'm not even sure what kind of word to use to describe the kind of hell that we are going through with Tucker right now. The frustration, anger and self control to not beat that kid within an inch of his life is beyond my vocabulary...not sure what to say. It doesn't matter what I say to him, his immediate response is, "No, Mommy" and it's not always defiant, but just a matter of fact. Just like you would say, "OK, Mommy" is how he is telling me no. It's almost like saying, "listen Mommy" but there is something about NO that just pushes me over the edge. He is screaming in his bed at night (let me remind you he is sharing a room with Addie) so when he starts screaming, Addie wakes up and chimes in too. When we go in the room and get him calmed down, this is what he says, "I need a hug". I haven't figured out yet if this is just a stalling tactic that tugs at my heart strings or if he really feels like he isn't getting the attention he needs. Either way...makes me feel like a failing mother. It also makes me feel like beating the the snot out of him for screaming at the top of his lungs, waking up his sister and then all he wants is a hug??!! He can't seem to listen to what we say, not a word. He has been sent to TimeOut so many times in the last few days, it's almost like that's his new hobby. He is refusing to go to the bathroom on the toilet and cries every time we try to take him in there. Does anyone else have any experience with the older sibling acting like the baby when a younger sibling is born? I feel like that's what happened. It's so frustrating. All of these wonderful three-year-old attributes coupled with the employment and living situation that we are going through is just about all I can handle. I'm about to go insane, if it hasn't already happened. Something has got to give. We have been in this situation for about 8 months now and it's WAY more than I thought I'd have to go through after getting out of the Army. Army life (minus deployments) is looking pretty sweet right now! I know we will get through this but the day to day life is just overwhelming in so many ways. As a final note, I'd like to take this time to thank Tucker for his continued support in my desire to not have any more children.