Last night was one of the worst nights of sleep that I've had since Adeline was born. She fell asleep on me for a late afternoon nap. Fell asleep again around 9:00pm and we put her into bed around 10:00pm. At 10:30pm she was crying in the room, so we went and got her. She didn't fall asleep for the night until 1:45AM!!! She was awake again at 2:45am for a little snack, and awake again at 4:45 for another snack. You'd think she would sleep in a little bit, but she was awake for the day at 8:00am. She took 3 naps today that totaled 45 minutes. This made a great case for why I should start the sleeping program. There wasn't going to come a day when I decided that this was a wonderful day to hear my sweet baby cry her friggin' brains out...so I just had to decide that it was time. I'm tired...it's time!!!
She has been sleeping on me for naps during the day and sleeping in her own bed at night after falling into a deep sleep on me...nursing all the while. I've been going back and forth on when to start her on the same sleeping "program" that we did for Tucker. It's not a very fun program (depending on which method you subscribe to) for parents or baby, but it's very effective and worth the while once all the screaming and crying ceases. It's a program that's in the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Last night was my breaking point and I decided it was time. Addie is a great sleeper and that's why it's hard to make her do all this crying when I know that if I just picked her up and nursed her, all this misery could be over for her. I also am smart enough to know that nursing her to sleep and letting her sleep on me is not good for the long term, nor does it allow me any time to myself.
So here we are...Addie is screaming, 63 minutes and counting. Who knows how long this could last. Thank goodness for blogging or I'd be in there wiping the sad tears of my sweet daughter's face telling her how sorry I am for making her cry like that. I know that she just wants me, she does not need me. I know that if I were to walk in there she would smile, knowing that she has been rescued just like she wanted. She has already figured that one out, if I come in the room and pick her up...she smiles and sometimes even laughs! Booger. I'm doing the right thing. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
4 comments:
keep it up, you can do it! i know it's so hard.
oh gosh this is by far the hardest part of being a mom- the most freakin' hardest thing ever! I feel your pain so well and rememeber it so well that reading this gave me anxiety! ha! It's a double edged sword- you don't want them to cry and cry and loose trust in you, but you have to think long-term and for the benefit of her healthy sleep habits and your sanity! all I have to say is, when the timing is right, she will learn, whether it's right now that you want to accomplish this, or in a few more months. Hang in there and remember that no matter how hard this is, you are an EXCELLENT mother who pulls out all the stops when it comes to the needs of her babies...love ya!
To quote a friend who had a child survive leukemia, "All you can do is love them and do your best." And you are. You are a great mom, Tami.
Hang in there Tami, it will all be worth it! I did the same for all my kids, and I just kept telling myself, "I am a much better mom with sleep, it's all worth it in the long run!"
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